25 Things I Learned by 25
I’m 25 years old today, and I’m feeling wise…
And nostalgic. There’s something about reaching certain milestones that just get us thinking about all of the life events that have truly shaped us. I remember turning 15 as if it just happened and all of the things I thought were ahead of me. And boy was I wrong.
From moving across the ocean, to finally settling in the place where my family’s story truly began to falling in love and then finding myself again through the heartbreak (more than once). And of course living through a worldwide pandemic, here are the 25 things I’ve learned by 25 that I wish I could tell my younger self somehow:
1. Asking for help does not make you weak
I’ve always taken pride in independence and being self-sufficient but you can’t always cover it all and there are certain things that Google just can’t answer. Asking for help is not a sign that you can’t do something, it will only bring you closer to doing it through someone else’s perspective and advice.
During the past year I asked for help to learn the ins and outs of my brain (AKA therapy) and that has truly been life changing. I don’t feel weaker, or less self-sufficient. I now see my strengths even more clearly.
2. Taking risks is what’s going to get you where you want to be
I cannot say this enough to friends. The only thing in the middle of getting what you want is yourself. Believe that you deserve what you want and then go after it, even if that means quitting your 9-5, blocking your ex that doesn’t let you move on or getting up earlier each morning. Take the risk of doing what you haven’t done before. To saying yes to what you truly want. You can afford to make mistakes, because you will learn from everything.
3. Always keep the things that light you up close to you
Don’t ever give up on the things that you do just for the joy of doing them. These are the things that will get you up in the morning, through a really hard day, through that 5-day rain storm that doesn’t let you go outside. If you don’t know what that is, try everything that makes you curious, and even when you’ve found it keep trying new things.
There was a time, not long ago, when I stopped playing music altogether. I kept working. I kept going out with friends. But there was something off about me. There was a deep sadness that no one could really see unless they looked closely. I was sad and had also stopped doing all of the things that could possibly make me happy. Those two combined are not good signs, which brings me to my next point.
4. Listen to your body and feel all the feels
You can be angry. You can be sad. You can be the full spectrum of things. And all of that is okay. It’s more than okay. Does your body need extra rest today? Rest. Be as giving and understanding to it as you are with others. Treat it with kindness. Feel all the feelings, hold space for them. Life isn’t supposed to be a Starbucks Christmas Commercial. What sort of character growth would that give you?
5. Buy that plane ticket, get on that plane
Some of your best memories come from traveling. May it be planned or sudden rash decision. Travel more, travel anywhere. Watch your world expand.
6. Bangs don’t work for you, so let that one go
Don’t do it. They’re really annoying.
7. Nothing is set on stone
One of the things that you will come to love about being alive is that as long as you are, change can happen. You can choose something today and change your mind. There is flexibility in knowing this.
8. There are friends that will eventually grow into your family and be there no matter what
You are not alone in this. They will lift you up. They will make you laugh and they will watch Pride and Prejudice with you as many times as you want.
9. Learn the difference between anxiety and intuition (and follow it!)
It’s a lifelong exercise to differentiate between those two voices but you’ll get better at it. Don’t try to quiet your mind, listen to it. Listen to your intuition. Follow it everywhere. You will know who is talking when it’s asking you to move and not hide under your blankets (big tell-tale).
10. Realize that you are the love of your life
Being in love is great. We get it. But being in love with your life, taking care of yourself. That is everlasting. That is something that will always lead to a happy ending (and a happy now!).
11. You will be financially free
And the quicker you trust that, the faster it will come to you. Being financially free isn’t necessarily just making enough money to live by. It is choosing to make that money in a way that makes you content. That drives you to grow as a person. To plan for the future but fully enjoy the present moment. Think about how you will feel, what you will be doing. Start doing that now. Trust me.
12. Exercise isn’t all that bad
My past selves might have been shocked by this statement but: doctors and experts don’t lie. Exercise will make you feel energized. It will make your back pains go away. You’ll even feel better in your own skin. Even if you dread it initially. You will even look forward to it at some point.
13. Learn to say goodbye
We go through life avoiding saying goodbye, may it be a loved one who has passed, after a painful breakup. But it’s so important to say goodbye to what is gone and what should be gone. This does not mean forgetting, but it most certainly is closing a chapter to start a new one. With the learned lessons, with the hope that different will in fact be better.
14. Endings are beginnings in disguise
There hasn’t ever been an end that hasn’t opened the door to a new beginning. Trust the process. Trust time. This is the start of something new. You’ve risen from the ashes time and time again.
15. Fishy Oils do wonders
This is not an ad, I promise. But taking your Omegas on a daily basis is great for a balanced mind. Also sushi and avocados.
16. Believe in the magic of believing
Have you tried learning how to manifest? I cannot recommend enough following To Be Magnetic’s PROGRAM. It is life-changing and eye opening. But believing in yourself is the first step. Believing that you can and that you will. That’s true magic.
17. Breathing in and out in 6 counts works faster than Xanax
Ok maybe not faster, but taking a few minutes to breathe it out. To let the fresh air renew you. It works and you can do it yourself.
18. Let go of control, seriously
I’m still learning how to and in a world that’s full of crazy news and chaos it’s hard not to have a plan A, B and Z. But if crazy has taught us anything is that your plans can be changed in ways that are unimaginable so don’t grasp them. Flow with it. There is nothing that will be thrown at you that you won’t be able to handle.
19. You are enough
You are enough. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough. Just by being you. You are enough.
20. You can’t change other people
Seriously, you can’t. So don’t waste your energy. Respect their decisions, respect them. That’s love right there.
21. Remember to be thankful
This version of yourself is the dream version of your past version. Be thankful for all of the things you have. All of the chances you’ve had to hug and be with your loved ones. All of the times you got up after thinking that that was it. Give thanks to kind strangers. Give thanks for those who weren’t kind too.
22. Invest in yourself
You are the biggest asset you have, so why not invest the most in your most valuable asset: YOURSELF.
If at 24 I hadn’t invested in my first coaching program (shout out to Susanna from AURAWEAR) it wouldn’t have occurred to me that I could pull off running a Graphic Design Studio, and much less make it my full time job. It was the smartest move I took during 2020. For sure.
23. Write in your diary
There are things you think you want to forget but that have brought you to new and unexplored places. The journey - your journey - is valuable. Writing about it not only helps you feel better. It helps you remember better. You can also share it with your grandchildren 50 years down the road and it might help them figure out their life as well. Who knows. Just keep doing it.
24. You can afford to be vulnerable
Up until recently I had a very hard time showing up as myself online. Specially when I wasn’t at my best. Being vulnerable to your people will give you strength. Being human is a huge thing that we all have in common and sharing our human experiences makes us bond. Creates friendships and even helps you grow your business. Be vulnerable, be yourself. Commit to that.
25. The best is yet to come, always
Literally, even when things are already good. Know that you will get to know better. A better you, a better place, a better Minestrone soup. And that good always outweighs the bad. Look forward to it, but be present in your current good (it’s already the great you once wished for).
